resilience reminders example header.webp

Believe in Your Ability to Learn

Resilient people know that mastering something takes practice. They don’t expect themselves to be perfect right from the start. Instead, they believe that with hard work they can learn whatever they put their minds to.

Life is about learning. As babies, we have to learn to walk and talk and feed ourselves. Then we move on to more difficult things like reading, writing, solving math problems and playing sports.

When these early accomplishments come easily to people, they are sometimes told that they are “smart.” But telling a kid they are smart can actually make them feel insecure.* Here's why:

Often, when someone believes they are smart, they think everything should come easily to them. Then, when faced with something more difficult, they think something is wrong with them that it isn't coming easily. They are not used to working hard, asking for help, and persisting until they figure it out, so they get discouraged, worry that maybe they are not actually smart, and give up.

On the other hand, resilient people know that mastering something requires practice. They also know that if they work hard enough, they can figure it out. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at that,” they say, “I haven’t learned that yet," or “I’m working on that.”

So, believe in your ability to learn and there will be nothing you cannot accomplish.

*(Also, if someone tells you that you are not smart, tell them they are wrong, or tell them that you just haven't learned that yet.)

What is something you are proud of yourself for learning because it took a lot of work to get good at it?
How do you keep yourself from getting discouraged when you are having trouble learning something new?
If you want to learn something new or improve something, what can you do to help yourself?
Can you name a time when you asked someone to help you learn or improve something?

Can you understand why telling someone they are smart could actually make them feel insecure?

Own Your SuperPowers

Resilient people know that the more they use their strengths, the more empowered and happier they are, so they own their superpowers and make the most of them.

Life is full of things that are hard. Math is hard for some people. Speaking in public is hard for others. Singing, dancing, focusing on boring homework, shooting hoops, telling jokes and making friends—all of these things are hard for some people. But they are not hard for everyone. And the people who find these things difficult have plenty of other things they are good at.

Everyone has a different set of personal strengths. And when you own your strengths and use them often, you feel good about yourself.

Think about it: When you spend time doing things that come easily to you, that you are good at, and that you enjoy doing, you naturally feel good about yourself. Using your strengths builds confidence and self-esteem.

Using your strengths is also a good way to forget about your troubles for a while. If you can get lost in the act of doing something you enjoy like drawing or playing basketball or singing or playing an instrument, you can shift your mood from not-so-great to better.

Strengths don’t have to be something you can make a career out of, although they can be. Maybe you are a good listener or a good dancer or a good baker or you are good at making your friends laugh. If it makes you feel good about yourself, consider it a strength. Also, consider it important and look for ways to use it more often.

What is one of your strengths?
What would your friends, family members, teachers, coaches, or mentors say is one of your strengths?
What strengths do you admire in others?
What strengths would you like to build in yourself?
If you could make a career out of one of your strengths what would it be?

Tell Empowering Stories About Yourself

Resilient people know that the stories they tell about themselves shape their lives, so they tell the most empowering stories they can about themselves, their lives, and their futures.

The stories we tell about ourselves drive our behavior, influence how others respond to us, and either empower us to achieve our dreams or place unnecessary limits on our potential.

Imagine that you tell the story, “I’m not good at school.”

This belief would make you feel insecure and anxious in the classroom, which would likely make you reluctant to participate. This would cause your teachers to judge you poorly and give you lower grades, which would confirm your belief that you are not good at school. All this would probably make you less likely to try very hard at your schoolwork, which would continue the cycle.

But imagine if you told this story: “It sometimes takes me longer, but I always figure it out.”

This belief would make you feel hopeful and determined in the classroom and would likely cause you to engage with your teachers until the concepts clicked for you. Not only would you get higher grades but your teachers would also see you as diligent and hard-working. All this would confirm your belief that if you work hard enough you eventually figure it out.

Words have power.

You get to decide how to tell your life story, so choose your words wisely.

What is one really positive thing you can say about yourself?
What is something positive you can say about your future?
Can you think of a positive way to talk about a mistake or failure you had in the past?
What is something positive you can say about how you treat other people?
Do you have a negative story about yourself? If so, can you think of a slightly better story to tell instead?

Take Care of Yourself

Resilient people take care of themselves - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - especially when they are going through a difficult time, when they are feeling stressed, or when they want to perform well.

By the time people get to be adults they often have a million reasons why they don’t take better care of themselves—they’re too busy, there’s not enough time, there are too many other people they have to take care of—so their self-care gets put on the back burner.

And when you are a kid, you have to rely on others to take care of you. Even if you want to be thoughtful about your self-care, many aspects of that—from the food you eat, to the activities you engage in, to the people you are surrounded by—are in large part controlled by your parents.

However, taking responsibility for taking care of yourself is something best done early in life, so you can build lifelong habits that support your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

When people think about self-care, they often thing about nurturing their bodies with healthy food, exercise and plenty of water and sleep. It’s also important, though, to take care of your mind and spirit.

There are lots of things you can do to support your mental and emotional health, including surrounding yourself with good-feeling people, having people you can talk to when you are upset, not keeping your thoughts and emotions bottled up, making time for people and activities you enjoy, not being too critical of yourself, and seeking out things that make you laugh.

And spiritual health can be supported by activities like going to church, reading, meditating, being in nature, and doing things that give your life meaning and a sense of purpose.

Bottom line: take responsibility for taking care of your own mind, body and spirit, and you will show up as the best version of yourself every day.

How do you take care of your body?
How do you take care of your mind?
How do you take care of yourself emotionally when you are feeling upset about something?
Why do you think it helps people feel better emotionally to talk about their problems with a supportive person instead of keeping it bottled up inside of them?
How do you take care of your spirit?